Becoming an Artist on a Mother's Schedule

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I love color, I love texture and I love the feel of wool. There’s something incredibly satisfying that comes from creating a tangible work in a short amount of time. The idea was long ingrained in my mind that anything worth doing must take a very long time to complete. If you don't suffer for your art, it isn't worthy. There must be some agony in completing a thing of beauty. It wasn't until I started felting that I saw there was another possibility. You can spend days and weeks working on a piece of felt, adding layers, details and inlays. It is possible, but not necessary. If immediate gratification is what you want, then this could be the perfect medium. Many projects can be completed in a few hours.

 

silk felted flower

 

Felt fabric has a unique texture. It doesn’t resemble more familiar textiles like woven and knit fabrics. It’s flat with no obvious stitch definition. It looks firms and sturdy. It’s often sculptural, appearing to stand without obvious seams or support. It’s a fabric I’ve admired as long as I can remember. Felting happens when wool fibers, laid out in overlapping layers entangle on a microscopic scale, with hot water, soap and agitation forming a solid matte fabric with a permanent bond.

 

burrato 15 - 4

 

My desire to craft and create stems mostly from an intense dislike of mainstream goods. Need a birthday present? How about a mug printed with “Forever Young At Heart” scrawled across the side? Someone just had a baby girl? Better find a pink shirt that says ‘Princess’ for the happy parents. Whenever I’m compelled to give gifts, I view it as an opportunity to buy more tools or try out a new technique. I want to make something as I envision it, not as a store presents it to me. I hate shopping as well – choosing between several options that aren’t quite right, never feeling like the choice was good enough.

 

birds on t shirts

 

Watching my roommates in college, who were design majors, I was inspired by their determination. Given assignments to design and build an original piece of furniture, they were undaunted by the fact that they had no carpentry skills or practical experience; they just made ideas come to life. I’d never witnessed something grow from an idea to a physical object. When I finally lived on my own after college, I was able to dabble with various art materials without fear of judgement or critique. There were no grades on the line, and no teachers expecting a finished product to conform to a learning objective. It was a time of great freedom, when nothing was being graded and things didn’t need a purpose.

 

mosaic rocks

 

My gateway to the world of making felt was through knitting. I decided to make a hobby horse for my daughter’s third birthday because the only versions available in the store had speakers implanted in the ears that knickered when squeezed. I wanted something a little more rustic; the simplest solution seemed to be making it myself.

 

knit hobby horse

 

Knitting is a deliberate, repetitive act, soothing and meditative. The first time I took up needles, they were snatched from sock knittingmy husband’s hands. In a moment of thrift, he wanted to knit homemade wool diaper covers for our two young children. He bought a how-to book, needles and yarn from our local fabric store, but couldn’t sort out the illustrated instructions. I had a reflexive muscle memory when I leaned over to correct his stitches, something stored deep in the archives from a time when my mother taught me to knit as a child. I don’t think I returned the needles. The motion was just the soothing I needed for my overstimulated mind. A young mother of two doesn’t get much quiet time. My mind was too wired for reading during the few idle moments, but knitting was something I could pick up and put down easily. I could knit while watching my children play, while having a conversation or while my husband drove.

 

When yarn is knit, or woven, then subsequently shrunk in the washing machine, that’s a type of sweater missing a sleevefelting, accurately termed “fulling”. It creates a firm, sturdy fabric suitable for bags and slippers. This type of knitting is fast and easy. It can be done on large needles without paying much attention to creating even stitches or delicate patterns. It can be mindless and still productive, the perfect distraction for someone who already has too much on her mind. During those early years, I was a full time caregiver for my children but also worked as a webmaster and copy editor on the side. My mind was never idle and I added a lot of pressure by insisting on cloth diapers, and whole foods.

 

Ultimately, knitting became unsatisfying because I couldn’t knit fast enough. There were too many projects I wanted to try and not enough time. The complexity of the projects increased, requiring more and more concentration and slowing down the work. We’d been making Christmas gifts for several years, (candles, soaps, hand-bound journals, fudge), always working on projects late into the night and mailing boxes at the last minute.

 

felted soaps

 

The Christmas season of 2006 was approaching and we didn’t have a gift idea yet, so I suggested making felt soaps. I borrowed several books from the library, bought some roving (unspun wool) from a local yarn store and started. That project opened a door and I’m still exploring the hallways of that house.

 

double lily

 

When I started felting, my son was still in preschool. I had two afternoons per week to devote to exploring feltmaking. It wasn't nearly enough. I was consumed with the endless possibilities: how many colors can go in one piece? how sculptural can a two-dimensional object be? How can I recreate this object in felt? Soon everything I saw needed to be reinterpreted, recreated in felt. I worked on my kitchen table, so by necessity, the projects I attempted had to be completed in a couple of hours and everything had to be put away by 3 o'clock. After a year, I moved to a small basement room where I felted for another four years. Looking at the projects I made during those years, I can clearly see how my environment constricted my work. Think small. Think tidy. Think compact.

 

fur covered barber chair

 

Last December, I rented a studio in a building with artists of various persuasions: printmakers, oil painters, encaustics (pigments mixed in beeswax applied to prepared boards), mixed media, and jewelers. My work grew exponentially once I entered a space with high ceilings and white walls. I had the space and freedom to get messy, really messy. Suddenly working with raw wool, just sheared and still full of barnyard debris was on my table.

 

waterfall

 

When I look around at the work being done by contemporary feltmakers, I'm awed by the installations of Claudy Jongstra, Elis Vermeulen and the intricate garments of Angelika Werth. My next leap will be towards scaling my imagination up to take advantage of the space and light I now have. The possibilities are limitless. The hours I spent working in my basement prepared me for the big work ahead. It was an apprenticeship, as surely as any person who has spent days washing brushes and mixing pigments. Now that I've put in time working on the little stuff, which still pays my rent, I have a world of possibility waiting.

 

Find more of Leah's work and writing at spiderfelt.com

 

Edited by TJ Dawe and Andrew Baxter

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4 comments

  • Comment Link mary jo dawe Monday, 21 May 2012 16:41 posted by mary jo dawe

    This article shows how you gradually became comfortable with your own artistic personality...even without formal training...it just would not remain hidden.
    I love the photos you included.
    Would you expand to show how you progressed from personal expression to having an artistic business?
    This article is a nice compliment to others on this Site. Thanks!

  • Comment Link Leah Adams Monday, 21 May 2012 23:16 posted by Leah Adams

    While my children were young, I worked 10-20 hours a week from home as a web content editor, but it was not work I could see myself doing full-time. The work always felt like a burden, and an obligation. Making felt was something I wanted to do all the time. Every spare minute, every thought revolved around the next project. As my son approached kindergarten age, I began to wonder where I wanted to put the extra energy I imagined I would have once he was in school. There was little doubt that I wanted to explore felt-making fully, and in order to do that, the work would have to pay for itself. I started selling on Etsy.com and networking with other small business owners and bloggers to see where they had found success.

  • Comment Link elizabeth Tuesday, 22 May 2012 02:20 posted by elizabeth

    This is something I have been trying to balance...I want to be working with my fibre all the time, but my family and housework come first. Every year I seem to get a bit closer as my daughters get older.

    My question is how can you become absorbed in creating, (that lovely feeling when you ignore everything around you), and still remember the pot of soup on the stove or to pick the girls up from school? How can you lose yourself in the art and be a mother?

  • Comment Link Leah Adams Tuesday, 22 May 2012 04:10 posted by Leah Adams

    I hear you Elizabeth. Losing myself didn't really happen until both of my children were in school full time, and even then it might only happen once a week when my schedule is totally clear and there are no piles of laundry, or trips to the grocery store coveting for my attention. Building a dedicated room in our basement that I could leave projects in process was helpful, but I still found it hard to ignore the garden and the house clutter.

    Balance is difficult; there is no way around it. Make an appointment with yourself, as firm as the dentist who will charge you for a no-show. Try to book occasional time for a retreat, either solo or with a group in a similar practice. Arriving at this place took practice, focus and determination and a healthy serving of time. My children are now 10 and 12, and it is still a challenge.

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